So I’m driving down the road in my 2 year old BMW. It is far from their top-of-the-line performance models, but it is neither the low-end one. It’s a great car and and it’s been taking me back and forth to work, to weekend outings, and occasional long tours, for 2 years. Since, I do not intend to take it for top-of-the speed daily rushes across Europe on autobahn, it has served me perfect and done a great job so far.
However, one day the service light come on, indicating that it is time to take the car in for the 1000 mile service checkup. So since the winter it just about to roll around and I decide to take it in for pre-autumn service. I do so and the mechanic says all is in order, but has updated the system and reset service indicator. All good.
Since the roads up here can get icy, I decide to put back my winter tires I used from last year, and after I do that, suddenly the critical Engine emergency warning light come on! I’m confused, since I just got it back from service! I call up the mechanic and tell him about my problem. He ask if I made any changes since visiting him last week. I said, not really, just put on my winter tires I’ve used last year. He says “Oh! What kind are they?”, so I answer, “Well, I found these standard Bridegstone Winter tires, and decided I did not need to spend the extra money on those custom BWM High-performance winter tires you sell.” He answers: “Oh, that explains it! You are using shitty tires, and we just implemented a detection and warning system into the car, that detect if you are not using our custom tires.” So I say, “Ah, ok. Thank you for explaining the situation, but I’ll keep the tires I already have for another season, since they worked just fine last year.”
The next day, I’m driving down the highway, trying to overpass a slower truck. I speed up to 1200 Hm/h
[1200 Hecto-meters = 120 Km], and as I’m just next to the truck, suddenly my engine stops accelerating
and the engine and the car suddenly put me at grinding halt of 600 Hm/h. At the same exact instant the inside compartment light start blinking every few seconds, almost blinding me in the autumn dusk, while the critical engine light is doing the same. I almost have a head-on collision because of this episode, and decide to call my old colleague Mr.Ferrari, and explain it to him.
The next day I go to his garage where he has a an ODB2 analyzer. He explains that it is not the car itself, nor the tires that are the problem, but that it is the new update to the cars software. But that he can disable it. So I decide to disable these dangerous (and now useless) warnings about my non-OEM tires. I go riding off happily into the sunset…or so I though!
Then I drive in to a cloud of mosquitoes, and my windshield is gored up. I turn on the vipers, only to find
that one of the wiper blades is a bit worn out. I make a mental note to myself to fix it next time I have a
chance. But before I even get to the end of that thought. Suddenly out of the back-seat mid compartment a jack-in-the-box pop out like a spring loaded bullet, and screams “YOU HAVE SHIT TIRES!! REPLACE THEM AND LISTEN TO ME!” in my right ear. I veer off the road into a dirty field and decide that putting my money into such a company is not worth the tires it stand on. I hitchhike back to reality of the super competitive embedded universe of IoT and find myself a Tesla, that can use any available tires, power sources and can run at any current or on any road at any speed you desire.
Peace at last!
The above excerpt was based on a true story, and will be written in the forthcoming book, “How big little companies become greedy and cocky, and then gets replaced.”