In Moscow’s Shadows Putin’s Retirement Speech (if only) and Whacky Kremlin Sitcoms
Mark Galeotti
There’s a fascinating AI (artificial intelligence) project currently openly available, ChatGPT, which allows you to ask the system to write texts on any topic in whatever style. As a momentary and welcome distraction, I played around with it.
First of all, I asked it to generate four ideas for a sitcom set in Vladimir Putin’s Kremlin. It came up with:
- “The Kremlin Komedians” follows a group of bumbling bureaucrats as they navigate the cutthroat world of Russian politics.
- “Putin’s Palace” centers on the personal and professional lives of the staff at the President’s official residence.
- “Kremlin Chaos” showcases the absurd and hilarious antics of the President’s advisors as they try to keep him in line.
- “The Putin Show” is a mockumentary-style sitcom that parodies the inner workings of the Kremlin, with Putin himself playing the lead role.
Then, I requested that the AI wrote a speech by Vladimir Putin in which he explains why he is retiring from office in the context of the war in Ukraine:
Dear fellow Russians,
Today, I am announcing my decision to retire from the office of President of the Russian Federation. This decision has not come easily, as I have devoted my entire life to serving our great nation. But after much contemplation and consideration, I have come to the realization that it is time for me to step down and allow fresh leadership to guide Russia into the future.
Over the past two decades, I have had the honor of leading Russia through some of the most challenging and transformative times in our history. We have faced economic hardships, global tensions, and political turmoil. But through it all, we have remained strong and resilient, and have emerged as a global power on the world stage.
However, the ongoing conflict in Ukraine has weighed heavily on my mind and on the hearts of the Russian people. Despite our best efforts to find a peaceful resolution, the situation has only grown more complex and dangerous.
It is with a heavy heart that I announce my decision to retire from office, in the hopes that a new leader will be able to bring fresh perspective and renewed efforts to the negotiations and peace talks in Ukraine.
I am confident that the future of Russia is bright. We have a strong foundation, a resilient people, and an unwavering commitment to our national interests. And with the right leadership, I am confident that we can continue to prosper and thrive in the coming years.
I want to thank each and every one of you for your support and dedication over the years. It has been a privilege to serve as your President, and I will always cherish the memories and experiences we have shared together.
I look forward to watching Russia continue to grow and flourish, and I am confident that the best days for our great nation are yet to come.
Thank you, and may God bless Russia.
Sincerely,
Vladimir Putin
Ah well, we can all dream, even if these are electric dreams…
PS, if anyone’s wondering about that image at the head of this post, there apparently is a game called Putin vs. Aliens: Extended Cut CyberPutin 2033 and then, as if there were not enough, CyberPutin 2077: Endgame (or Путин против Инопланетян: Финал), described as
In 2015, Vladimir Putin received a call from aliens, who said they would destroy the Earth. We didn’t have to wait for help from the West, because they were rotten. Therefore, Putin was not confused, and together with loyal friends punished the aliens in full!
Now, in 2020, it’s time for the final battle! Between stability and surprise, between the sun of all Russia V. V. Putin and God-fearing Aliens! In space!
In the game you will learn the secret of the origin of aliens, as well as get a unique gaming experience, because the game consists of four parts: Arcade, Strategy, RPG and, of course, Putin!And no, I haven’t played it.
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